Age-Appropriate Chore Lists

Quite awhile ago I was influenced by a wise older mother to consider the benefits of training my children in specific duties so that by the time they entered their teen years they could successfully accomplish the basics of running a household. This seemed like a lofty goal to me, but also one worth pursuing. How to accomplish, or even begin to attempt this feat, however, was a bit more difficult. In true Kiersten-fashion I decided that I couldn't even begin to work toward this goal until I had a plan all mapped out. (Sigh. This "all or nothing" streak in me definitely has it's downsides.) I set about researching. I located and sorted through dozens of chore lists suggested for certain age groups. I cut and pasted, rearranged and consolidated, considered and planned over a period of several days until I had what seemed to be a good plan all mapped out in a handy-dandy Excel spreadsheet.

Benefits of Chore Training
I have been using these spreadsheets for about 2 years now and it has proven to be an extremely valuable tool for our family. Not only have they given me focus and direction for my training, but they have given the kids a sense of accomplishment as they have worked on and mastered new skills. Here are just a few of the benefits of chore training we have experienced first-hand:

• Promotes less burn-out for Mama  Any mama of young children knows that caring for every need of even one child is super exhausting! In my infant/toddler days a fellow mom (one with slightly older children) encouraged me that as the children got older each would begin to be more of a "plus" in the family, adding back into the life of the family while progressively "taking away" less and less. (This is not to minimize the blessing of young children, only a comment on their general effect on the logistics of the family in the first months of life.) Having a plan for assigning age-appropriate duties has helped us in the process of the "take-away" to "plus" transition, making for much less burn-out for Mama! Teaching my children to sweep the kitchen floor is certainly not the most efficient way to get the floor swept for those months of training, but over time they are gradually able to take over the task until it is no longer my job but theirs!
• Teaches our children to be others-focused  We all want our children to think of others, but how do we get there? Of course we talk about it and hopefully we model it, but another component is to expect it. One way we have begun to expect our children to think of others is by giving them jobs at home. As they do their jobs I try to emphasize that just as Mama cooks dinner for the whole family and washes the family's clothes, their jobs are a needed service for the good of our family. I believe my children's time is not wholly their own, merely to be spent on their own pleasures, but that I must teach them to spend themselves in service to others and in working hard for the glory of God.
• Helps me to overcome perfectionism  One of my biggest struggles has been and continues to be perfectionism. If left to myself I could definitely be one of those moms who would just do everything myself to make sure it gets done "right." Having a methodical system for teaching chores to my children has held me accountable to not fall into this trap.
• Reminds me to focus on the important, not merely the urgent  If you asked me what I want to accomplish in the few short years I have to shepherd my children I would likely give you a list of virtues, skills, and attitudes I believe to be crucial to a God-pleasing life. But ask me how I spend my days and some days you might not see any connection! We all seem to lament the tyranny of the urgent in our lives. We can tend to spend our days putting out little "fires" and wonder, as we fall into bed, "what did I really accomplish today?" By making a plan I was able to take that plan and build time in to my day to carry it out. Now many days my children are being trained in what I believe are important life lessons of skill and character little by little. And, as a bonus, as we work together over time there have become progressively less "fires" to put out!

The Lists
There is certainly nothing original about my chore lists; they are simply the result of compiling many ideas from various sources. But since it has been so helpful to me to have these more comprehensive list compiled, I would like to share them with my readers. On a logistical note: because I put lots of hard work into this project, please do not copy or post these lists on another blog or website without my permission. You are welcome to link directly to this post. These lists are for personal use only; please do not distribute. If you would like to use this resource in another context please contact me at: mamakiert@gmail.com. Thanks!

 9-12 months

18+ months

2+ years

3+ years

4+ years

5+ years

6-7+ years

8-10+ years*

11-12+ years*

13+ years*

*Please keep in mind my children are 7 and under. Tasks listed on these lists are based on recommendations from various other lists only.

Each list is arranged in the following sections: Personal, Household and "As a Learner." In the first two sections new age-appropriate tasks are listed as well as the tasks already learned from preceding lists. When a task is carried over from a previous list that task is placed in italics. In this way each list becomes a comprehensive record of skills from which you can draw your children's daily and weekly responsibilities at the given age. (I do NOT require my children to do everything on the list at any given time. The list is only a list of skills they are able to accomplish.) There are two exceptions to this format: 1. When a task becomes too easy it is dropped off the following list (i.e. "Do simple errands" from the 18 mo.+ list is dropped off of subsequent lists.) 2. When a task is learned progressively the next, harder step will replace the earlier task (i.e. "Sort laundry [hand things to child to put in appropriate piles]" from the 3+ list is replaced with "Sort laundry [clean and dirty] with supervision" on the 4+ list.)

The third section lists tasks the child can be learning to do at the given age. This concept is based on an apprenticeship model. For an apprentice to master the skill the following process is followed:

1. The master craftsman demonstrates the skill while the apprentice watches.
2. The master craftsman works hand-in-hand with the apprentice, guiding him through each step of the process.
3. The master craftsman watches while the apprentice demonstrates the skill, guiding and correcting immediately, as necessary.
4. The apprentice completes the task alone; the master craftsman examines the final product.
5. The apprentice is fully trained and able to complete the skill on his own.

The first three steps are what I have in mind for tasks listed in the "As a Learner" section. I have built into my schedule a 15-minute period each morning for teaching and training my children in these tasks. Sometimes we don't need this time if we are not working on a new skill, but it is helpful to have that time mentally set-aside for the times we do need a little training time in the mornings. Typically a task listed in the "As a Learner" section of one list is moved to the "Personal" or "Household" section on the following list.

How I Use the Lists
I have printed out a copy of each list for each of my three children (up to the current age of each), which I keep in a binder. When I started I checked off each skill they had already mastered, giving me a clear picture of the things we needed to work on. Even though Benjamin was nearly 4 when I began this system there were skills on the 2+ year list that he had not yet learned. I focused on teaching these skills first. I place a dot next to skills we are currently working on. When I think the skill is mastered I place a check on the list. When we move to a new list I first consider if a new level of skill may be appropriate for the new age (i.e. should I teach him how to dust more thoroughly than I previously required?) If so, I do not check it off; if not, I check off the item and use it to form the basis for a list of potential chores.

Periodically I review the lists to give me fresh ideas for assigning chores. I have two children who are able to do independent chores so I normally choose a core set of chores and then have the children alternate on a weekly basis. For example, currently our after-breakfast chores are: check/empty small trashcans and dust. One child checks and empties the bathroom-sized trashcans while the other picks one room to dust. The next week they switch jobs. After a few weeks (months?) I might choose 2 more chores for this time.

I'm still tweaking my system and I would love to hear how you approach chores in your family. What are your ideas?