Train Wreck

What started out iffy got worse and then much worse and ended with "oh my word, it's 5:45. I should probably make dinner." Yep, it was that kind of a homeschool day.

A friend and I were talking the other day about how we each picture the other's (and everyone else's) homeschool as a picture of perfection while our own is typically chaos. Well just in case you suffer from the same delusions of grandeur, this, my friends, is a window into the chaos.

We started out late and a bit grumpy. Last night was our first Wednesday night back in church activities, which means we arrive home late and exhausted, so naturally we were all dragging a bit this morning. Additionally, Benj's allergies were bothering him and he was complaining of a runny nose, watery eyes, sneezing, and a sore throat. I gave him a Claritin and proceeded to spread butter and honey/jelly on everyone's toast to whining from the baby who wanted everything in sight as long as it wasn't on her tray. After whining to receive and then refusing to eat toast and some mango, the baby went back to bed.

The rest of us proceeded downstairs for school. Benj decided he was too sick to sit up for our morning meeting so he laid on the floor and zoned out while I tried, in vain, to recall him to the topics at hand. I decided to let it go since he wasn't feeling well.

Next I set the bigger kids loose to accomplish some independent work while I set up a couple of things upstairs. The next thing I knew Benj was laying on the couch trying to take a nap. "Wow," I thought, "he must really be sick." I told him if he wanted to sleep he could go lay on my bed. About 15 minutes later I went to my room to find him playing on my bed, no longer looking as if he was about to pass out.

Willing to be flexible, I figured maybe I should just go with a more fun/casual approach today and switched gears. I announced a play dough project would be taking place at the kitchen table. Kids came flying from every direction. (Play dough doesn't come out very often at our house.) Leila made a bee-line for the play dough box and started getting out all the various molds and play set items we own. I explained to her that we had a special play dough project today where we were going to make something specific so we weren't going to get out everything. The next several minutes were spent comforting a wailing little girl who claimed I hurt her feelings because she wanted "that stuff." Once I finally announced the project (to create an animal that doesn't really exist, as a means of appreciating the enormity of God's task in creating the world) they set to work, but I quickly realized the folly of giving tired children a creative assignment. Benj did just fine, but Talia got frustrated right away with her inability to slap together the perfect model she had in her head and spent her time cramming hurriedly constructed pieces together and smooshing them up because they didn't look right. Leila didn't want to participate because she didn't know what to make and then once I gave her a suggestion, didn't know how to make it, and ended up happily hacking her lump into chunks with a plastic knife. Meanwhile, Benj got bored and disappeared again and Talia was still sitting at the table with nothing constructed when we were ready to move on. Play dough ended in more tears and Benj laying/reading on my bed again.

By this time we were about 2 hours into our school day and had pretty much nothing to show for it. I decided to consult the principal and called Seth. He suggested I feed them an early lunch, put them all down for naps, and proceed with school when they woke up later in the afternoon. I agreed. Of course, right about this time Channah woke up and so I was juggling a still-grumpy, hungry baby and several other details when I poured the milk into my Magic Bullet mugs to be blended into smoothies for lunch. 20 minutes later I realized I poured milk - dairy milk - into ALL the cups, including Benjamin's when after drinking over 1/2 of his smoothie he told me his throat was suddenly hurting much worse. Mom of the Year, people. Right here.

I administered all appropriate meds while Channah whined that she wanted the rest of her smoothie, gave the whiner a graham cracker, and made Benj another smoothie (correctly this time). Lunch ended late (instead of early, as planned) and I sent everyone to rooms for naps. Everyone wanted the CD player for naptime (we only have one portable player) so 2/3 of those involved were pouting when all heads were finally on pillows.

I figured they would all conk out immediately. I was 1 for 3. 45 minutes later Talia was playing with her stuffed animal and Benj was laying on his stomach playing with something under his bed. I informed them both in no uncertain terms that they were to go to sleep immediately (knowing full well that I couldn't possibly enforce that ridiculous command) and once again consulted my calm husband. (In case you can't tell, by this point I was about to go through the roof.) We agreed to give them 20 more minutes to respond to my instruction and then get them up for a phone call with Daddy and to complete school. When the 20 minutes had expired they were both asleep.

A couple of hours later they woke up and we re-started school, which, mercifully, went fairly smoothly. Benj still wasn't very perky but considering my colossial mistake at lunchtime I figured he that was probably legitimate and didn't push him. We were still going strong when I went upstairs to get something and realized, you guessed it: "oh my word, it's 5:45. I should probably make dinner."