I found a blessing!

I haven't been blogging much lately. There's a reason for that. (Well, I mean besides being too busy.) I haven't felt like I have anything constructive to post. And by that I mean that life has looked pretty bleak from where I sit these days, which is in the rocking chair, on the couch, at the kitchen table holding and rocking and patting and shushing my precious but very fussy baby girl.

I'm not gonna lie to you, these past 6 weeks have mostly been incredibly difficult. Most of that period Channah has cried 50-75% of her awake time and often part of her should-be naptimes as well. (We had a brief interlude somewhere in the middle where she was much less fussy, but the past 2 weeks have been worse again.) We think her crying is mostly due to tummy discomfort--gas pain and acid reflux--and have been treating her with medication, which has helped some, but has not revolutionized our life like we hoped it would. So, unfortunately this has not been the blissful newborn experience we were all hoping for.

But(!) today I had a thought! It was the glimmer of sunshine I prayed for this morning when I prayed for the strength to be a good mommy today, even though I was dog tired and even more discouraged. All this time I'm spending rocking and soothing my fussy girl allows me to slow down and not miss the little things. I know, for example, that today she tried to blow a raspberry. As her little tongue was stuck out she gave a faint blow and then immediately broke into the most adorable smile. She knew that she was onto something! What a sweet little moment. Just the memory brings little tears to the corners of my eyes. And I already know her little personality so intimately. I spend a couple of hours, at least, every day locked in eye contact with her, exchanging smiles and coos or soothing her with soft words and safe arms. I know the different pitches and meanings of her cries (sometimes). I know what makes her smile. As a mama of four these are the little things I could easily miss.

What amazes me is that this matches right up with my theme for this year: "The Little Things: Treasuring God's Blessings." I chose this theme in January (even though this is the first I've blogged about it). It seemed appropriate for a year in which I would have the sweetness of a newborn baby to treasure up in my heart. I must admit I pictured blessings of a more...um...happy nature.

But God knows. He knows that I tend to fill my time up with projects and activity, always tweeking and fixing, and letting the little things go by unnoticed. He knows that I want to do less and be more but I don't naturally know how to fulfill that desire. He knows that on my own I would get to the end of the year and sadly look back, realizing that moment by moment, day by day I forgot to notice The Little Things. So He gave me a fussy baby who forces me to lay aside my daily agenda, pause (sometimes for days at a time), and take the time to enter into moments in the life of my children. I still have a long way to go in learning to truly treasure the blessings of my new daily routine, but by God's grace I am daily intimately acquaintanted with The Little Things.

Smiling Girl, 8 weeks old