Unclogging

Editorial note: I'm no longer "here" emotionally as I've had 3 or 4 more weeks to unwind, but I decided to post this anyway. I'll chalk it up to my catch-all: posterity. :)

I haven’t blogged in eons. You may have noticed (or maybe not :) ). The problem with not having blogged is when I sit down to update I wonder how on earth I should begin, especially in the face of the significant and monumental events which have recently occurred. Should I give a general update? Should I attempt to capture the enormity of graduation in an epic post about God’s faithfulness? I might do both of those things later. The latter certainly deserves some focused attention after all the challenges and trials that have been recorded here. The truth is I’m not sure I can muster up enough emotional energy to give these things, especially graduation, the ceremony they deserve. Yet. So my intent is to just write whatever comes to mind, let some thoughts flow, allow my brain to “unclog” a little, if you will.


I’m tired! Sort of fundamentally, down in my depths. I know I will slowly begin to gain back the energy to approach life with excitement and passion, but right now it’s hard to imagine getting excited about much of anything.

Just after graduation Seth & I had the incredible opportunity to go on a 4-day cruise. That time to truly relax was a gift. We had a wonderful time; it was all we could have asked for! It was wonderful to just be with my husband and put aside the many responsibilities of daily life. It was so restful to have a week with practically no schedule, no commitments. We could (and did) take naps whenever we felt like it. We had breakfast in bed. We sat on the deck reading and watching the sea go by. We took walks out on the decks at night. We even got some exercise in on the ship’s jogging track. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

I was hoping to come back from our break full of life and energy and new passion. I was hoping to feel overflowing with happy emotion at the achievement of a long-awaited goal. Instead, I have come to understand that our week away jump-started the process of unwinding from the incredible stresses of the past many months.

I have been tempted to feel guilty for not being “fixed” by the magic of the break everyone kept telling me I needed. I wonder how I can possibly have the audacity to still be so unenthusiastic about my daily tasks. I feel positively ungrateful for not gushing over with bubbly emotions about having Seth home evenings, weekends, and the recently passed holiday. I am grateful, just quietly grateful....

...And now, because (as I stated at the beginning) I am feeling so much more refreshed it has become impossible for me to wrap up this post satisfactorily. But I think it worked. I feel much more "bloggy." Stand by.