Merry Christmas & Happy New Year 2014

I gave up on ever getting Christmas cards sent out a long time ago (in practice, not in my heart) so here is a little New Year's greeting from the Rodriquez Fam.

Talia's Art Party

I've been realizing lately how far behind I am on our family chronicles. But... better late than never.

For her 7th birthday Talia decided she would like to have an arts & crafts party, which, if you don't know her is highly appropriate for my creative girl. And of course the color scheme for anything Talia-related must be rainbow. Thus was born Talia's Art Party. It was a lot of work, but also super fun!

Invitation

We made a gallery of Talia's favorite art projects from the past couple of years

We had stations with different art activities, like watercolor painting

Button mosaics

Each kid painted their own canvas. All of the paintings turned out so cute and unique!

 

We had a drying line for the various projects

She picked this birthday cake from the choices I gave her from Pinterest

The inside of the cake

Girl friends enjoying their cake!

A Painful Lesson In Humility

It has been over a week and I still feel sick every time I think about it. But I am also thankful.

It was Saturday morning and the day my girls had been looking forward to for weeks... their first true ballet recital. Costumes, make-up, the whole deal. And Mima was here to see it! They were so excited!

We got up early, bathed the girls and washed their hair. I brushed their ponytails to smooth perfection, twisting and rolling them into fat ballerina buns. I applied a little foundation, powder, and blush to their shining faces. We even topped it off with a little swipe of glitter on their eyelids and a sprinkle in their hair.

We were right on time. Walking out the door at exactly the time we planned. The costumes were in the car as we scheduled in plenty of time to dress when we got there. With a smile I even tucked a last minute tube of lip gloss and bottle of shimmery body spray into my purse. Everything was perfect.

We got to the recital hall just as planned. Seth was going to drop us off and take Benj to go pick up some roses for the ballerinas while they dressed. They would be back in plenty of time to get great seats. I opened the back of the van to retrieve the costumes...and that's when it hit me.

I had forgotten the ballet bag.

The bag that contained their ballet shoes, tights, and extra costume pieces (including, but not limited to the feather trimmed gloves that were Leila's absolute favorite part of her costume.) Yes, that bag. I was horrified.

Suddenly our perfect morning was thrown into chaos. Seth sped away leaving my mom and I with the girls and costumes. The gravity of the situation began to hit me. We live 35 minutes away, at best. There was just an hour until the recital began. Not even enough time for him to get home and back, not to mention to dress the girls. Right there on the sidewalk I burst into tears. "I'm so sorry, girls," I choked out.

Knowing I had to pull it together and be the adult, I decided we would get them dressed so at least they would be as ready as they could be. We dressed and prayed for Daddy to get back as quickly as possible.

We went upstairs to the backstage area where I explained my colossal mistake to the teachers, telling them that there was really no way Seth would be back before the recital started. They assured me that it probably wouldn't start on time and that they would adjust the order of the routines, if necessary, to give as much time as possible to get the needed items. I spent about half an hour with the girls, trying to reassure and encourage them. I put on a smile and told my sad Leila that Daddy was bringing her gloves. Our friends showed up and had an extra pair of tights that fit Leila, which I put on her. I saved seats in the auditorium and then, even though I knew it was way too early, I went to wait out front about 15 minutes before the performance started.

My stomach was in knots. I felt physically sick. How could I let my girls down so badly? How could I be so stupid as to go off and forget nearly everything they needed for their special day? I'll be honest, that bag didn't even cross my mind that morning. What was wrong with me?

In my heart I cried out to the Lord. Over and over I begged Him to somehow save the day. "Please, God. Don't let me let my girls down. Don't let me break their hearts.... Please ease Seth's way.... Please help him to get here in time.... Please.... Please.... Please, God." I was pacing and wringing my hands, a nervous wreck. As I paced and prayed, it hit me.

Only the day before, as we were preparing to go to the dress rehearsal I had been so hard on Talia because we couldn't find her ballet shoes. They weren't in the bag. I had called the rec center where we go to their lessons and they didn't have them either. I lectured her about responsibility and keeping her mind on what she's doing and how sooner or later irresponsibility is going to cost her. "Now you don't have ballet shoes for your recital," I had said with an air of superiority. (We later found that her shoes had gotten into her friend's bag and received them back at the rehearsal.)

Now it came to my heart. No. NOW she didn't have shoes for her recital. And it wasn't her fault, it was mine. I had no grace for her mistake in not keeping track of her shoes when we still had a whole day to find them and now I was begging for God's grace to cover MY mistake in completely forgetting them (and a whole lot more) when it truly mattered. I knew in that moment that I never wanted to forget the pain of that realization: that I expected perfection out of my little girl that I could not even deliver myself. I had no grace for her mistakes, pridefully expecting that somehow I was bigger and better than that.

The truth is no matter how much I plan, no matter how "on top of it" I feel, all my best efforts are not enough. I am not better. I am just the same. I am a mere human being with faults and limitations, with good intentions, but a finite ability to carry them out. The expectation my kids should exhibit the values I have taught them to perfection is ridiculous. And the idea that being a "good mom" equates with perfectly ordered rows of ducks is categorically false. In truth, the better my plans work out -feeding my pride in my own abilities- the worse mom I tend to be. I fight, trying with all my might to keep all the balls in the air, to keep everything under control, to be everything, do everything. And I forget my need.

Quite simply, I need Jesus. I need his strength to accomplish the most important tasks each day. I need his peace to quiet the anxiety in this season of our life that some days threatens to overcome me. I need his Spirit to control me, giving me life-giving words to say, wisdom to teach and correct, love to spill out over my children. I need his grace to cover my gross inadequacies, even when I am too prideful to admit they are there.

And so I prayed that God would never, never let me forget that day, but use it to humble me and remind me to give mercy, grace, and compassion to my children, remembering that we all need those tender gifts.

Around 11:15 Seth pulled around the corner and thrust the bag out of the driver's window into my hands. I ran into the building and up the stairs, searching through the bag as I ran, rummaging for shoes and accessories. I entered the backstage area and literally threw Leila's shoes and accessories at her feet. Another teacher ran up to me asking for Talia's shoes, telling me that her class was in que to go on-stage. The recital had started on-time, at 11:00 and all the classes had already performed except for Talia's and Leila's classes.

I hurried into the auditorium and down the aisle to my seat as Talia's class was filing up the opposite aisle onto the stage. A second later, as the teacher arranged the girls on the dark stage, Benj slid into the seat beside me. Seth had found an open parking space in the closest lot to the recital hall and had come in right behind me. Right on cue he whipped out the video camera as the stage lights went up.

Talia was tights-less, in shoes she borrowed from an earlier dancer. But her face lit up as she saw her Daddy and brother. She danced beautifully.

Next Leila's class filed onto the stage. Leila was leading the line, fully costumed, gloves and all, with a radiant smile. She was clearly tickled pink with the experience of performing and danced with adorable charm.

I am so thankful. I am thankful that God redeemed my mistake, allowing it to be a beautiful memory after all. I am thankful for the sweet spirit of forgiveness and even compassion my precious girls extended to me in my weakness. I am thankful that Seth and Benj (and Channah) were safe during their hurried trip. I am thankful that none of us missed even a moment of the performance. I am thankful for the way the teachers extended grace to me and cared so sweetly for my girls. And so much more. But most of all I am thankful for the painful lesson in humility that reminded me that the measure of a mom is not a standard of perfection, but rather a rule of love, compassion, and grace. Lord Jesus, help me never forget!

My sweet ballerinas, post-recital

More Pieces to the Puzzle

Over the past 2 days we travelled back to Knoxville/Maryville, TN to see Dr. Barry Sunshine for Benjamin's allergy and health issues. It was a productive visit and I am hopeful that we have put together a few more pieces to the puzzle of Benjamin's health.

We have spent the last month testing, observing, journaling, backtracking, and just generally trying to get our bearings on the status of Benjamin's new level of health. It has been an exciting month of new experiences and successes, but also an exhausting one. It has been a long time since I have felt the daily anxiety of not being a knowledgeable expert on his care, but with so many changes to his status quo I have definitely engaged in a lot of guesswork and close scrutiny over the last 5 weeks.

We had a few minor complications over the last few weeks, mostly episodes of wheezing or shortness of breath, which were easily remedied by the use of his inhaler. My main concern with breathing issues has always been to figure out where they are coming from (so we can avoid triggers and medicate less), but this time it was especially important to me to determine what was causing these reactions so I could capture a sample of the allergen which would enable Dr. Barry to actually deal with it. Thursday and Friday I really felt like my vigilance paid off. I was encouraged that most of the environments I created samples for (Chick-Fil-A, dust from our vacuum cleaner, etc.) did actually show as allergens and he was able to fix them. I know I wasn't able to capture everything (for example the grass I collected from our yard was not an allergen, but I know he is bothered by something when he goes to play outside), but I think we should have a better month.

All of the food reactions he has had this month have been minor, but because I have been hyper-vigilant I did bring in some foods I suspected based on small observations like red spots on his cheeks, possible slight swelling of his eyelids or mild wheezing. Almost all of them did actually create a reaction. Things like brown rice, a waffle, and the sandwich he eats every Wednesday night before we go to church all caused reactions. The interesting thing about these foods was that when combined with an enzyme in his saliva (amylase), the chemical reaction between the two actually created the allergen. This was a different issue than had been treated last time and, in fact, Dr. Barry said this was a new pattern he had discovered since our last visit. Almost all of the remaining food issues we discovered were due to this reaction between the amylase in his saliva and the food itself. That is so fascinating to me! Just a couple of days prior we had tested peanuts for the first time. As Dr. Barry instructed me, I approached it very cautiously, first applying peanut butter to his finger and, when this caused no redness, swelling, or itching, to his cheek, then to his lip. Each of these tests was completely symptom free, so I finally put a tiny smear on his tongue. Within a minute he had symptoms of a reaction - sore throat, itchy mouth - what he calls, "that milk feeling." Thankfully the treatment plan I have used before for milk worked and nothing more serious happened. When Dr. Barry tested peanut butter the pattern that displayed was this same amylase reaction, which makes perfect sense considering it wasn't until the peanut butter had contact with his saliva that it caused a problem. So he was able to fix all these patterns.

Besides peanuts, the only other allergy I knew was still present was milk. The pattern he discovered for milk was due to another enzyme, gastrin, which is released in your body when you even think about food. He treated this pattern Thursday and that evening we gave Benjamin some bread that had milk as an ingredient and even spread it with a little bit of real butter. I made him take it slowly with a minute or two between bites, but he handled it just fine. Later in the evening I gave him a small slice of cheese, to which, again, he had no visible reaction. In the morning I tested a dab of milk on his lip, as I had earlier in the month. In the earlier test he reported that the dab made his lips feel funny and that the feeling gradually spread inside his mouth. This time he felt nothing. A little while later I even had him take a small sip of milk, wanting to try to draw out any reaction that might occur before our Friday morning appointment. Nothing happened. Friday morning he did re-test the gastrin/milk combination and found that it was still present (he called it "stubborn"), and so he re-treated it, but it seems obvious to me that it was releasing its hold since I couldn't detect any physical reaction to all the various forms of milk he had ingested in the past 18 hours. We have continued to give him small amounts of dairy yesterday and this morning and have not seen any symptoms!

In addition to the allergies, I also decided to mention some of Benj's other quirky issues to Dr. Barry to see if he thought any of them were related or treatable. One of the major issues I have been concerned about for the past year has been stammering. He has always had a bit of an issue with this, but recently it has become much more pronounced (as well as less age-appropriate). I feel quite certain that this issue for him is not one of mechanics or ability, but rather related to concentration and focus. He suggested several possible remedies: first, the vast improvement to his overall health will help with some of these issues of "spacing out;" second, an addition of a high quality fish oil supplement to his daily regimen will help brain function; and third, he suggested and we completed a laser therapy treatment which he thought may help to stimulate the language areas of his brain. He also recommended the laser therapy to possibly help with an occasional issue he has with eye crossing. (The basic procedure was that they scanned a laser back and forth along certain areas of his head while he talked and also moved his eyes around for about 5 minutes per area.) I'm anxious to see if the laser treatments help!

Seth was also treated for his environmental allergies. He was allergic to pretty much everything Dr. Barry tested him for, but he said after his appointment he did feel different, but it's obviously going to be a process to see any improvements in his symptoms. It will be interesting to see how this spring affects him.

We are so thankful for all the support, help, and encouragement we have received through this process and we continue to give thanks and glory to The Healer who is answering our prayers and bringing healing!

Dr. Barry

by Benjamin

A couple of weeks ago Daddy, Mommy, and I went to Tennessee because a doctor who could help me with my allergies is there. We went with Mrs. Stephanie and her son Kolton.

When we got there we saw Dr. Barry. He was very kind and he treated me very gently. I held my arm out and he firmly pushed down on my arm while holding a minature bottle near me which had something I was allergic to in it. Then he would gently pat on my back and erase the allergy from my body. It took only a short time. While he was doing it I felt scared at first, but after awhile I felt more calm. We went to Dr. Barry every morning for three days.

On the third day we went home. I was sad to leave Tennessee, but I felt more healthy. Now I can eat corn! We are going back to Tennessee at the end of March and I can't wait!

When I Was at Jillian's House

by Leila

A few days ago I went to my friend, Jillian's house! Daddy, Mommy and Benj went to a doctor far away. I stayed at Jillian's house for three days.

It was fun, great, and fabulous! Me and Jillian played with ponies. Every lunch we had an inside picnic where we watched "My Little Pony" while we ate lunch on a blanket on the floor. One afternoon we went to Jesse's school. Me and Jesse built with some blocks in his class. Every night me and Jillian slept by each other on the floor.

The last day me, Jillian, and Jesse went with their mom to Bunko. Daddy, Mommy, Benj and Talia met us there. I was sad because I left the ponies Jillian gave me at her house. But after Daddy said we were going to have Dominos Pizza for dinner I was happy to go home.

Christmas in Minnesota

by Talia

Have you ever been on a long drive in the car? Our family has! Our family went to Minnesota at Christmas time. It was a long, long drive. It took one whole day. We left early in the morning and when we got to the hotel it was late at night. When we got to the hotel all the kids were sleeping.

The next few days we met lots of family. We met aunts, uncles, and cousins. Happily, even Mima and Papa were there. We went to Aunt Donna's warm house for a little bit every day! On Christmas Day the whole family was at Aunt Donna's house. We ate dinner there. Then Santa Claus came! Santa had a huge bag on his back which was full of presents for different children. Everyone got plenty of presents. I got to talk to Santa and even sit on his lap. When we weren't with family we were at our fun hotel. We got to watch TV, eat breakfast at a special restaurant in the hotel, and swim.

One day we woke up early. Mommy and Mima dressed us and then we got in the car. It was terribly cold. Then we drove the long, long way home. When we got home it was past bedtime. I missed our wonderful family, but it was good to be home.

Hanging Out at the Hotel, Drinking Hot Cider

Breakfast at the Hotel Restaurant

Santa & Leila

Santa & Channah (not crying!)

Santa, Benj & Talia

Family

Children of the Cousins